An Introduction

"Moi qui tremblais, sentant geindre à cinquante lieues

Le rut des Béhémots et les Maelstroms épais,

Fileur éternel des immobilités bleues,

Je regrette l'Europe aux anciens parapets!"

           -    Arthur Rimbaud, Le Bateau Ivre

So I'm on my Year Abroad. For those unfamiliar with the concept, language students at Cambridge University (and most other universities throughout the UK) are obliged to spend their third year living in a foreign country, in order to immerse themselves in their relevant language(s). Students are able to a) study at a university; b) work; or c) teach English in a school. After a minimum of eight months in one of the above pursuits, we return to university full of wisdom for our fourth and final year.

I've just started mine. Whether there is a definitive starting point or finish for any Year Abroad is perhaps a matter of contention, especially for an international student like me - but I can tell I'm on mine now because, soon after arriving in Hamburg, I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach.

It wasn't the difficulty of saying goodbye to my family, though the few days spent in the company of my parents and siblings following the end of term certainly flew by far too quickly. It wasn't the sadness of leaving friends behind me, though it upsets me to think that by the time I return to Cambridge, many of them will be gone. The feeling was born of a comparatively prosaic and dazzlingly self-evident observation – that for the Year Abroad, I would no longer be able to use English.

I mean, obviously that’s not strictly true. I’m using English right now in writing this, and will continue to use it to communicate with friends and family. I can even use it publicly here in Hamburg, where shop assistants, taxi drivers, and little old men selling chestnuts in the street need only hear my “Wie bitte?” before breaking into their infuriatingly impeccable second language. But that doesn’t change the fact that, as I begin to converse, work and think in German, I will simultaneously lose one of the profound continuities of my life. English has provided my cognitive frame of reference since I was a young child, it is an essential part of who I am, and knowing that I will have to live largely without it for the best part of fourteen months feels suffocating.

The realisation has highlighted how frustratingly heavy-handed my use of both French and German currently is. After two years of studying it intensely, I don't know where the line between irreverence and flippancy lies in German; having had lessons from the age of four, I’m still unclear on when sarcasm is appropriate in French, what level of maturity it corresponds to, or what type of person it marks me out as. At the moment, all I can really offer with confidence in either language is sincerity - and useful though that may be, it's pretty bloody boring. 

If I’m going to make something out of this year, that needs to change. I want to begin to see the contours and the tonalities of my acquired languages, just as I see them in English. In fact, I want to use them as I attempt what will be the hardest part of living abroad: translating my persona. For me, the “be yourself” philosophy can be a knotty one even at the best of times, but if it’s challenging for me in English, it’s far more so in French or German.

Fundamentally, I lack the resources to do myself justice in another language. This year will be about overcoming that linguistic hurdle, and putting myself in a position where I can reforge my character in a foreign context. Getting there will be tough, and I may not make it, but opportunities like this don’t come around very often, so I might as well give it a crack. Hopefully I'll learn some things and make some friends along the way. 

The Plan:

Hamburg, Germany (now - 19th December 2014)

  -  Internship with the Alsterhaus department store (July - September)

  -  Internship with the clothing company Tom Tailor (in marketing) (October - December)

Paris, France (1st January 2015 - 5th September 2015)

  -  Internship with the foreign exchange company Travelex (in e-commerce) (January - August)

The Blog:

I'll be providing daily (let's be realistic: *sporadic) updates in the relevant target languages on this blog, along with some short entries in English on the most memorable five seconds of every day (*some days). 

The name of the blog comes from the best line of an average stanza of my favourite poem in French (quoted above). I’m not sure if it yet makes sense as a title, but I’m hopeful that it eventually will.

The Open Invitation:

If you’ve read this far, then you’re far more indulgent of my garbled moralising than I deserve. Cheers. If you’re around in Paris or Hamburg let me know, and let’s talk some English.

WRHM