Elegant, cultivated, decent. Three words
Acqua di Parma have chosen to describe their Gelsomino Nobile perfume –
characterised by sharp citrus top notes transitioning to light tones of
Calabrian jasmine. Decent? I’m a little surprised: do they mean that as in
“conforming with standards of acceptable behaviour” or as in “solid, fits the
bill”? Neither seems to work particularly well here. But I like it. I admire
Acqua di Parma’s courage – clearly they’ve decided to strike out against the overuse
of pretentious, near meaningless language which characterises so much of the
luxury cosmetics industry. “This perfume is decent. Try our above-average
perfume: it’s nothing revolutionary, but boy does it get the job done.” For a
new wave young fashion label, this kind of self-puncturing advert would be par
for the course, even self-indulgent, but for an LVMH mainstay it’s
pretty refreshing.
I’ve started work at the Alsterhaus – in
the beauty and cosmetics department. Somehow I’d suspected all along that I’d
be stationed there. Maybe it’s the fact that my grandfather, when he first
started work in a department store, made his debut in the women’s shoe
department. I like to think that the same spirit of baffling logic behind that
ill-advised posting was again at work today, as I entered the ground floor
Parfümerie this morning, with only the affectation of deep absorption in my
clipboard to help shield me from questions on anti-aging creams.
It’s probably worth clarifying that I have
nothing against the cosmetics industry as a whole, though some people obviously
do. Perhaps I should enquire into the ethical arguments against the vanity
industry at a later stage, but for the moment, the more pressing concern is my
total incompetence in the field. I haven’t the faintest idea what the
difference between an eau fraîche and an eau de parfum is, and even if I did,
the chances of my explaining it adequately in German to a time-pressed customer
are comically low. There will be a lot of bullshitting about skincare products
over the next two weeks, but I hope it will be of consolation to my hapless victims
that it is, at least, bullshitting without art.
I look up the word dezent in my German-English dictionary. Turns out it doesn’t mean
‘decent’ at all, but rather ‘subtle and understated’. Of course it does. Bloody
fragrance companies.
Word of the day: dezent
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